Long time coming

So I know this took forever and then some to do but here is my long awaited second blog. I have alot to tell so let me begin. Christmas time has come and gone and I have to say it was alot of fun for me. This was my first with my son. Last year this time I was in Iraq and missed spending it with family. The kids got alot of great presents and getting to watch them christmas morning was awsome.
On a sad note my father isnt doing too well. He was diagnosed with congenative heart failure and it doesnt look too good for him. I know everyone dies but I dont know if I am ready for him to go. I dont think I will ever be ready for that matter. I was able to get a few days to go home and see him and to say goodbye to him. I told him if something bad happens I would be back but I wasnt sure if it would be in time. That was a hard conversation to have for me but it needed to be done.
If you read the last blog I posted you will know things were not going so well with the wife but I must say it seems to be getting better. We still argue but not like it was. She has a job that pays good so money shouldnt be a major fighting point for us but now she expects me to be up all day with the kids while she is at work and I just cant do that. I work long hours at night and I dont have a choice, I have to get some sleep. She isnt a big fan of daycare or sitters because over the years I am sure you have all seen the news and how some of them have been caught doing not so nice things to the kids in their care. I dont want to just throw my kids into any old place. I am willing to research them and make sure they are a quality place before letting my kids go there but she has to budge a little bit too. She can't rule that idea out becuase there is no way we can both work and not have a sitter for a few hours a day at least.
Well.....what else.....I am starting my diet again. The holiday season is drawing to an end so its back to the grind for me. I dread having to start running again but I know I shouldn't hate it. Its just hard for me to find the fun in it. In my defense I am trying and I dont plan to quit. I had a friend make a HUGE request and I intend to do it. I was asked to be a private dancer for her birthday party and my wife was actually very cool with it so I want to be in my best physical shape for this. The thought of getting down to my birthday suit for a group of women doesnt scare me but I dont want them to get turned off by it. Dont get me wrong, I am not a nasty blob or anything but I could stand to loose about 15lbs and I have until october to do this so I know I can. Its gonna be a blast and hey, maybe I can make a few dollars out of it. Well thats enough for my ranting tonight. I must get back to work but I had to drop a little something for everyone in blog land......ok ppl,

Do the day, dont let the day do you

Goat

So here for the first time

Well where do I start? This is my first blog but I have tried this before and it never worked. A little about me to start shall we? I am 27, married with 3 kids. My son just turned 5 a step-daughter who is 5 (long story, another blog) and my baby boy is 1. I have been with my wife for 5 years on and off and december will be married 4 years! I am in the military and the 28th marked 10 years for me.....god im old. I guess I am just doing this cause I am sitting here at work, its 4am and well...........im not allowed to sleep. There is alot on my mind and I hope to fill up pages and pages of it while I am here just not all in one night. I will try and figure out something tonight though. My wife said I dont talk enough to her and I am distant sometimes even though I dont notice this. We are so great together sometimes but other times I am just not so sure. We fight a little more than I would like or what I deem normal and sometimes I am at fault but she never wants to take the blame for anything. Everything has to be turned against me. Dont get me wrong I am never going to say I am a saint but always? I think she needs to step back and take a big look at things too. Maybe we both do. I know I am an asshole at times but not always! She can never admit she is in the wrong or its her fault. Im sorry I get mad at times about "stupid" stuff. Money, her getting a job, a dirty house! She stays at home with the kids all day and one of them is in school yet she can never find the time anymore to keep the house clean. I have tried to help out but when I do I get yelled at for doing it. Dont scream at me or get mad cause I was bored and wanted to put the cloths away or cook dinner. Just say thank you dear and be happy I want to help out. I just wish she would be a little like she used to be and maybe I would be a little more open and talkative to her. I cant do that now because if I say the wrong thing it will start a fight. It just seems like no matter what I do I am wrong and I dont know how to fix this. How can I make her happy without making myself unhappy? Well I guess I have to do that stupid work thing again so I will blog everyone later. Please comment and save me cause I promise to keep you up to date on everything and its gonna be a long, great read ppl.
laters
Goat